In this photo you will find a beautiful baby girl named Isabella Lynn Neal who was born on March 7, 2008. On that day my life was changed forever and the view of everything turned on that eight pound 2 ounce baby. She looks so calm and peaceful in this picture with no worries of her life to come. Once she was wheeled out into my room, no one was concerned about me but how their new grand daughter, niece and cousin was doing. There is no handbook or directions for the preparation of having a baby, just what you hear and your motherly instinct that kicks in almost immediately. Becoming a mother is the best thing that can happen to someone and the feeling of carrying a child in your belly is a moment to cherish forever.
About six months into my pregnancy she flipped up head and stayed that way the rest of the time. I can remember the pain of her moving like it was yesterday. The feeling of my stomach turning upside and all around stays in my mind. The doctor scheduled me for a c-section because she wasn’t moving back and we weren’t going to move her either. Thoughts of things going wrong raced through my head the day of my surgery but tried remembering the positive of our new baby coming into the world. Through the support of my husband and family I was able to get by that long and exciting day. Laying on the operating table the only thing going through my mind was seeing her little face. I saw it many times through ultrasounds but not starring at me in my arms. When they took her out from me I could hear her cry and they lifted her up for me to see her and than my tears started rolling down my face. She was wheeled into the nursery with my husband and I had my mom in the operating room with me, which was a good thing. The doctors couldn’t stop my bleeding and were calling in back up doctors. I remember the shots in the shoulder to get my uterus to start contracting and all the whispering between the doctors. The thoughts of not surviving starting kicking in and I started freaking out with the major shakes. My mom was trying to keep me and her calm throughout the complication. About an hour later they had controlled the bleeding and sewed me up. All that time, I was away from Isabella and just had seeing her in my mind. Once I did get to see her I had to wait again because I was shaking so bad and I didn’t want to drop her. There was no preparation again on the recovery process from surgery and it took all the energy out of me.
As the days and months go by since the day she was born she has changed and grown up to be such a smart, beautiful, and energetic little girl. Looking at the image above I do miss those quiet and calm moments but now Isabella is a little person with such a big personality. I learn something new with her everyday and love to share it with all our family members who believe she was a gift from god. The feeling I get from looking at her is joy because I think back to my surgery and do think what if I wasn’t here to be with her and see her grow up.
About six months into my pregnancy she flipped up head and stayed that way the rest of the time. I can remember the pain of her moving like it was yesterday. The feeling of my stomach turning upside and all around stays in my mind. The doctor scheduled me for a c-section because she wasn’t moving back and we weren’t going to move her either. Thoughts of things going wrong raced through my head the day of my surgery but tried remembering the positive of our new baby coming into the world. Through the support of my husband and family I was able to get by that long and exciting day. Laying on the operating table the only thing going through my mind was seeing her little face. I saw it many times through ultrasounds but not starring at me in my arms. When they took her out from me I could hear her cry and they lifted her up for me to see her and than my tears started rolling down my face. She was wheeled into the nursery with my husband and I had my mom in the operating room with me, which was a good thing. The doctors couldn’t stop my bleeding and were calling in back up doctors. I remember the shots in the shoulder to get my uterus to start contracting and all the whispering between the doctors. The thoughts of not surviving starting kicking in and I started freaking out with the major shakes. My mom was trying to keep me and her calm throughout the complication. About an hour later they had controlled the bleeding and sewed me up. All that time, I was away from Isabella and just had seeing her in my mind. Once I did get to see her I had to wait again because I was shaking so bad and I didn’t want to drop her. There was no preparation again on the recovery process from surgery and it took all the energy out of me.
As the days and months go by since the day she was born she has changed and grown up to be such a smart, beautiful, and energetic little girl. Looking at the image above I do miss those quiet and calm moments but now Isabella is a little person with such a big personality. I learn something new with her everyday and love to share it with all our family members who believe she was a gift from god. The feeling I get from looking at her is joy because I think back to my surgery and do think what if I wasn’t here to be with her and see her grow up.
Very nice essay Deborah. My only suggestion to to reflect a bit more about how it was the day your life changed. Although the details of the day are good if the topic is about how you changed that is not really described.
ReplyDelete~ Megan
Debbie,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, let me congratulate you on the birth of your beautiful daughter. You gave a lot of detail to this very important day. Your surrounds, what was happening and what your feelings were during this hard but exciting time in your life. I so glad everything worked out well. Take care.
Hello Debbie,
ReplyDeleteSome great descriptions here. I have goosbumps and you reminded me a lot of my own delivery. In fact my daughter is just 2 months younger than yours.
Is this your thesis "Once she was wheeled out into my room, no one was concerned about me but how their new grand daughter, niece and cousin was doing." I have a hard time telling because our formating doesn't work on the blog. If so, I think your body supports it well. I also like your conclsion it supported your thesis and tied in the picture.
tonya
First off...She is such a beautiful baby!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your essay. Going through a c-section must of been very tough and scary. Its crazy how someone carries a baby in their stomach for about nine months, then so much changes in their life once the baby is born.